Acts Of Service

Coming up today on “Enjoying Everyday Life.”

Dr. Gary Chapman: If you’ve been married for a while, you’ve heard some complaints from your spouse. Chances are you can learn your spouse’s love language by just listening to what they’re complaining about.  (music)

Joyce Meyer: Welcome to “enjoying everyday life.” thank you for spending this time with me today. This week we’re learning how to express love in a way that people can accept with my guest, Dr. Gary Chapman, the author of “the five love languages.” Dr. Chapman, we got off to a great beginning yesterday and we’re glad to have you back again today.

Dr. Gary Chapman: thank you, Joyce.  Good to be here.

Joyce: Thank you. Now I know that not everybody was able to watch yesterday, so we need to do it again — just give us a little intro on how you discovered these languages and what they are.

Dr. Chapman: I discovered them in the counseling context with couples. I came to understand rather quickly that what made one person feel loved did not make another person feel loved. Eventually after 12 years or so of counseling, I discovered there are five fundamental ways to express love, and everybody has a different language. The languages are: words of affirmation — giving the person affirming words; quality time — undivided attention; gifts; acts of service — doing something for them; and physical touch. Out of the five, everybody has a primary love language, and if you don’t speak their primary language, they will not feel loved even though you’re speaking some of the other languages.  That’s why couples have often missed each other. They are loving, but they’re not connecting emotionally. So what we’re trying to do is help people learn how to love effectively by speaking the love language of the other person.